I can't even type one sentence fully without backspacing. This is nonsense, but I can't put things into words lately. Which is kind of the only thing I ever had to rely on so, this is a little scary. Once upon a time I went through a ridiculously uninspired phase, and I'm kind of back there again. I'm getting too jaded to enjoy things and I'm kind of desensitized to everything around me.
Wait, but now everything sounds depressing and I am zero percent depressed. Just a little lost. I'm over being cynical.
Wait, also..I just reread some diary entries circa Freshman/Sophomore year. OH. My God, could I have been more of an idiot? I spent all my time obsessing over these two really insignificant things..and ended up being completely unsatisfied when I could have absolutely done a few things differently and ended up where I wanted to be. Wow. But I guess the only way to grow up being a functioning human being is to have all those really irritating and stupid mistakes to grow from..I guess. Jesus, though, I don't remember being that insecure haha. How terrible high school is. Well, was. But is, in general.
Well, I'm having a little pity party with myself and my brother's ice cream birthday cake. I guess I'm also having obesity party, part II. Do I deserve a Disneyland trip for my overworked psyche?
I don't have enough posts where I obsess over Jean-Luc Godard. [Sarcasm.] But as I sit here eating my Middle Eastern dinner at 1 in the morning watching Pierrot le Fou, I think it only appropriate to express my love.
Every single shot is just so perfect. He uses the most beautiful humans. [Jean-Paul Belmondo? UGH. Brigitte Bardot? Anna Karina? They're all perfect. Oh my God, Jean Seberg. His female casting is the epitome of make-Alex-feel-inadequate.]
The best part of Le Mepris is at the very end when Camille says [in French, of course] "Get in your Alfa, Romeo." After Jerry asks her what she thinks of him.
And now that I'm editing this post exactly 12 hours after I started writing it, I realize that this post will only ever be relevant to me? Which means I'm done. Which also means the post below this one is the one that's going to have had more thought put into it, hahah. Oh weeeelll. Enjoy some movie stills.
I PROMISE that I am in the middle of an actual human post, but it's going to take me forever and I can't let my invisible readers down! WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW OR NEVER KNOW THE ACTUAL MEANING OF HAPPINESS.
I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I FINALLY BEAT BIOSHOCK. And the three seconds of ending almost made me hate the entire experience. How can a game with such badass writing and the greatest plot twist known to Alex-kind [Would you kindly? COME ON.] have the cheesiest ending? Gah. GAH. Oh well, I hear I get a speargun in BioShock 2. And then I get Infinite, which is not allowed to disappoint me. Not even allowed.
Nazi zombies via Call of Duty BlOps. Number one way to feel like a badass. I wish I was playing it right now, but of course my brother's been hogging the TV all day..and of course the moment he leaves..I have to leave too.
If I could be one person I would want to be Darren Aronofsky. I saw Black Swan again last night and I forgot how good it was. The last five minutes will make me cry probably for the rest of eternity. [And, I'm not a crier. I don't cry. This is a big deal.] Aw, I want to have the creativity to make movies like that.
Aronofsky is a really fun last name to pronounce.
Inadequate is the strangest word to repeat over and over again.
Tigrel spelled backwards is lergit? [10 points to any Friend's fans. I've watched so many episodes of Friend's this past week..I don't even have words for this.]
Hmm..I'm going to be stuck in so much traffic unless I leave now. Fuck it, Nazi zombies > the extra 25 minutes I'll be stuck in my car listening to my scratched Pink Floyd CD because my iPod's dead.
It was about five years ago that Kelly was presented with the question that would forever change her life. On one particular birthday, the favoritism her parents show for her twin brother was getting out of hand. In anger, she stormed out of the house, but not before her father could ask her the fateful question - "Kelly, what are you gonna do with your life?" With a voice full of confidence, she turned her head towards her parents and gave it to them straight. "I'm gonna get what I want."
With inspiration from the most inspiring, I'm going to try and figure out what it is I want. And maybe get it. I have a feeling that $300 shoes aren't too far off.
[Ps; Speaking of want - photoshoot, ice cream. Books. Longer hair, short hair, straight hair, more curly hair. What does this mean?] [PPs; Obviously the aforementioned wants are just a shallow cover..because I don't know what I want. But I do know that I want to be successful and I want it to be because I'm doing something that I like more than I like doing other things. Oy vey.]
My name is Alex and welcome to my Wonderland of anything my heart desires. [Desire spectrum can and will usually range from video games to fashion. One day I'll settle down.]
