Meep meep meep.
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So, I think I've figured out the major flaw in my whole..I don't know, 'finding my place in the universe' crazy plan. I'm stressing myself out focusing on trying to figure out long term goals for myself, things that won't start having meaning for at least another year. I've hereby decided to start focusing on just small term goals. For example, my current plan is to eat healthier and actually get my lazy butt off the couch, even if it's just for a little half hour walk. Step one in accepting myself as a real human and liking myself is to give myself a body I don't hate on constantly, right? Right. After this little project I'll find something else to do..but I think I've figured out that's all about moderation and not trying to shove myself into a fifty year plan. Doing that only makes me depressed, angry, and unmotivated.

Okay, yay. Silly, motivational, awkwardly written blog post done.

Ps I love Radiohead foreverevereverever.

The 13th, Friday.

I am such a cheeseball in my jeans and farmer boy shirt and bottled coke and Creedence Clearwater Revival.



Side note, fuck you Coachella for being such a stressfest and leading me straight to the arms of KFC popcorn chicken. You cruel, cruel harlot.

What could come of it.

Okay, blog. I have nothing to say but you're staring me in the eyeballs and it' intimidating, so I'm going to succumb to your peer pressure.

I think that I really want a sewing machine/to learn to sew. Kind of a useful skill, right? Also, I want to do something cool. Sitting in my bedroom for three days doing nothing doesn't quite fit the bill. Meh. Also, I can't even remember the last time I purchased a new piece of clothing. I think it might have been months ago..oh wait. Actually, I bought something last weekend. Oh well.

See? Nothing interesting. I've yet to move forward in a very long time. Sometimes I'm worried I'll be the same person for the rest of my life.

Also.

It irritates me a lot when people bond over really common and stupid things, like enjoying the smell of books. Doesn't everyone like the smell of books? I think I've yet to meet a person who has told me otherwise.

..the end.

..I wish my research paper was already done so I could actually feel my break starting, eeep.

I say this a lot, but it's really continuing to stress me out. I hate that I/so many people I know just sit around all day on the computer looking at pictures of things and thinking, "Oh, I want to do that!". It's the worst when it comes to Tumblr because people LITERALLY post pictures that say, "I want to go on an adventure!" and "I want to go out and do insert totally doable activity here!" etc etc. It just seems to me that it's SO incredibly easy to get off you ass and do something with your life. This is one thousand percent directed at me, ps. I'm so annoyed and disappointed with the way I'm treating my youth. Honestly, one day I'm going to be seventy years old and my only options for the day will be to sit around the house and watch television and nap. I'm nineteen years old, for fuck's sake, what am I doing in my room all day and night? Or doing the same, mundane activities?

I don't know where all the aggression is coming from, ha. I'm on day seven hundred of my period and the cramps have just kicked in, so excuse me for being a little angry at the universe.

So, okay. I hope the next time I'm sitting on my bed, watching episodes of Sex and the City/Friends/Seinfeld I've seen ONE THOUSAND MILLION TIMES and eating food to the point of nausea, I will read this and go out and fucking do something.

Okay, le fin. <3

It is Halloween. I baked. I made mac and cheese. I am watching Top Gear. I am wearing Minnie Mouse ears.

Oh, hello my life in a nutshell.

Womp womp.