Wednesday, November 20, 2013

You already know.

Well, hello stranger. I believe it's time again for me to confront my staleness. I am so unbelievably, undeniably BORED BORED BORED. With quite literally everything. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, October, December, what's the difference? I wish I could gain in backbone what I have in cowardice. Okay, maybe that's the wrong word. Maybe it's laziness. Or maybe it's extreme insecurity. I want to be the person that I am in my head, in the quiet of 3AM.

I wrote an enormously superficial list of clothing/makeup/etc. items that I felt I was missing in my life. I haven't done that in what seems like centuries. I know it's nonsense, but it made me feel good. I miss dressing up and bringing excitement into my life through a wardrobe. There was a point where I got so caught up in not wanting to be involved in the fashion industry that I forgot why I loved it, why it's the most perfect form of self-expression.

Next on the list of becoming. How do I go about inserting myself into the world of video games? I get so anxious and antsy watching and reading other people divulge their opinions, I just want to have my voice out there too. I guess step one would be to stop writing diary entries and start an actual blog. Side note, but just as important as everything else: Not having a journal in my house at the moment is driving me insane. I have a constant itch to put pen to paper. Gah. Somebody journal me, stat. What was my point? Oh, right. Stop being such an infant and put yourself out there. Alright.

I'm also ready to go to Japan. I have absolutely (ABSOLUTELY) no desire to pick up another boring and mindless part time job, but if it will fund the number one thing that I want to do..I guess it should be worth it. God, I'm so whiny.

Existential crisis, I will defeat thee!

Well. Adieu for now. Happy trails.

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