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How does anyone get inspired without music?
It's funny how I can be brought out of my creative droughts by downloading a few new songs. [A few, meaning a bunch of albums for a decent amount of artists, haha.] BUT SERIOUSLY. I'm not even doing anything, but I feel extra motivated and not as depressed and dumpy as I had previously felt. Even if all I get out of this is my class schedule chart/college transfer courses list..that's more than I would have done otherwise.
Man, and it also has this way of making the future seem much less intimidating. Maybe it's because it brings you into the moment or something cheesy like that and allows you to just..melt into yourself. I am in desperate need of a working CD player/iPod converter in my vehicle. Oh wait..maybe I should focus on getting just getting said vehicle to run. [Boo, you Jeep.]
Things people need to bestow upon me for no reason:
A job!
A ticket to Coachella!
I would even settle for a reasonably priced ticket to Coachella!
A plane ticket to anywhere!
Oh, speaking of plane tickets! I think I've made the fateful decision to sell my EDC ticket [lol, I was going to EDC] in order to be able to use the money I make on something more useful. I could literally buy a round trip ticket to New York with all that extra cash sooo..I'm thinking it may perhaps be more useful.
What else can I bore you with? In typical Alex fashion, I have four books sitting next to me that I need to read..and of course I can't decide which one to pick first. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, so I can see the movie? Tender is the Night, because I have to return it to the library at some point? Dune, because I've been wanting to read it forever? A Clash of Kings, because A Song of Ice and Fire is my new fucking favorite thing on the planet? Wait, but seriously..if you haven't thrown yourself into this whole Game of Thrones thing, you REALLY need to do so. Immediately.
Hm, and I guess since it's Valentine's Eve I've obligated to make some sort of obligatory down with love comment. Man, I don't think I actually give two shits about this holiday. I used to just think it was because I was bitter, but I don't even have a reason to be bitter this year and I still think it's useless.
Okay, I could honestly keep typing forever but I've said AB-solutely nothing interesting or even remotely inspiring or worthwhile. I guess my fingers were in the mood to type..and I was in the mood to talk about insignificant areas of my life.
Happy Monday, mes enfants.
So, I think I've figured out the major flaw in my whole..I don't know, 'finding my place in the universe' crazy plan. I'm stressing myself out focusing on trying to figure out long term goals for myself, things that won't start having meaning for at least another year. I've hereby decided to start focusing on just small term goals. For example, my current plan is to eat healthier and actually get my lazy butt off the couch, even if it's just for a little half hour walk. Step one in accepting myself as a real human and liking myself is to give myself a body I don't hate on constantly, right? Right. After this little project I'll find something else to do..but I think I've figured out that's all about moderation and not trying to shove myself into a fifty year plan. Doing that only makes me depressed, angry, and unmotivated.
Okay, yay. Silly, motivational, awkwardly written blog post done.
Ps I love Radiohead foreverevereverever.
I am such a cheeseball in my jeans and farmer boy shirt and bottled coke and Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Side note, fuck you Coachella for being such a stressfest and leading me straight to the arms of KFC popcorn chicken. You cruel, cruel harlot.
Okay, blog. I have nothing to say but you're staring me in the eyeballs and it' intimidating, so I'm going to succumb to your peer pressure.
I think that I really want a sewing machine/to learn to sew. Kind of a useful skill, right? Also, I want to do something cool. Sitting in my bedroom for three days doing nothing doesn't quite fit the bill. Meh. Also, I can't even remember the last time I purchased a new piece of clothing. I think it might have been months ago..oh wait. Actually, I bought something last weekend. Oh well.
See? Nothing interesting. I've yet to move forward in a very long time. Sometimes I'm worried I'll be the same person for the rest of my life.
It irritates me a lot when people bond over really common and stupid things, like enjoying the smell of books. Doesn't everyone like the smell of books? I think I've yet to meet a person who has told me otherwise.
..the end.
..I wish my research paper was already done so I could actually feel my break starting, eeep.
I say this a lot, but it's really continuing to stress me out. I hate that I/so many people I know just sit around all day on the computer looking at pictures of things and thinking, "Oh, I want to do that!". It's the worst when it comes to Tumblr because people LITERALLY post pictures that say, "I want to go on an adventure!" and "I want to go out and do insert totally doable activity here!" etc etc. It just seems to me that it's SO incredibly easy to get off you ass and do something with your life. This is one thousand percent directed at me, ps. I'm so annoyed and disappointed with the way I'm treating my youth. Honestly, one day I'm going to be seventy years old and my only options for the day will be to sit around the house and watch television and nap. I'm nineteen years old, for fuck's sake, what am I doing in my room all day and night? Or doing the same, mundane activities?
I don't know where all the aggression is coming from, ha. I'm on day seven hundred of my period and the cramps have just kicked in, so excuse me for being a little angry at the universe.
So, okay. I hope the next time I'm sitting on my bed, watching episodes of Sex and the City/Friends/Seinfeld I've seen ONE THOUSAND MILLION TIMES and eating food to the point of nausea, I will read this and go out and fucking do something.
Okay, le fin. <3
